The Problem With Nice

cgc-blog-nice-headerSomething new I’m learning is to get rid of an old habit: being too nice. You learn it as a kid and all throughout growing up, you hear it time and time again: just be nice. But cold hard truth? Nice doesn’t get you anywhere. Sure, it seems innocent enough, but that’s all it really is. Nice is safe. Nice is just… nice.

But in this age of the internet taking over the world, crazy people running powerful countries and a terrifyingly insatiable race of human beings, nice can only get you so far.

I’m no stranger this nice mentality. In fact, it’s been my default setting for a while now. I’ve practically taught myself that if I stay nice, I won’t get in any fights and I won’t have shitty friends (“only nice ones”) and it’d probably be easier to communicate with people. But none of that is true and none of that panned out the way I thought it would: I still had a lot of drama, I still had shitty friends, and communicating with others (especially having difficult conversations) wasn’t just something I dreaded, it was plain fucking torture. And then something clicked. I learned something about “nice” that I couldn’t unsee – nice was a trap! I subconsciously let myself settle into the trap of being too nice to the point of near cowardice. I couldn’t stand up for myself, I didn’t know how to weed out toxic friends and I didn’t know how to have important, life-changing, relationship-building discussions. I had become too nice, too passive, too scared of all that. Being nice was a trap I set for myself and I goddamn hated it.

Put in the wrong hands, nice can be a bigger problem than being dramatic or being bitchy, because, I realized, at least people who were dramatic and bitchy knew how to get what they wanted. They knew how to get things done.

Okay, hear this: I’m not saying you shouldn’t ever be nice. I’m not even saying going full bitch is the way to go. I’m saying there’s a time and a place for everything. I’m saying the fault of people who are too nice is they get lost in it.

Solution? Balance. Balance is key. By all means, be nice – but also be courageous. Know when to wield it, and know when you need to use your other qualities superpowers to get the job done.

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